I wonder…are streaks enhancing or impairing our kids’ friendships?

By Kim Gillingham

For all you Duolingo fans out there you may have succumbed to the challenge of ensuring your streak is maintained. Admittedly, I did.  I thought I was doing a great thing by encouraging my daughter to maintain her streak on Duolingo to ensure her daily language practise.  In fact, I saw it as this great bonding moment where we’d sit side by side each evening and do our quick practise. I was developing her mind for language and helping her to form the habits she would need to stay consistent with her learning. Surely, maintaining a streak is a good thing? I certainly felt good each time that streak number flashed proving my resilience and dedication to meeting a target and then…I came across a TEDx talk by Mayurakshi Ghosal on the Effects of Social Media on Relationships.

Mayurakshi was discussing her experiences as a teenager engaged in social media, specifically on platforms like SnapChat. Although, I have not personally explored the platform my students certainly have. It is their regular and preferred form of “communicating” with friends outside of text messaging and one they regularly view throughout the day. Even with phones being banned during school, the students themselves are determined to find a way, for the significance of maintaining their friendships is high. In fact, according to this TEDx, losing a “Friendship Streak” on platforms like SnapChat could negatively affect your entire relationship and therefore was deemed vital.

To understand streaks and to think critically about their effects on us, we need to make sure we understand them. For these purposes, a streak is a way of measuring our performance. They can be intentionally set by us, presented as a challenge by others, or inadvertently dropped into an experience making them seem important. Each time we complete a task linked to our streak goal our brain’s reward centers light up and dopamine is released. They can be used to help motivate us or to get into a habitual routine. Break the streak and we can be hard on ourselves or disappointed at our “failure,” but the feeling can be short lived if the consequences seem negligible. For example, I may think my Duolingo streak is a great thing and work to make sure I maintain it, I might be sad if my streak starts back at zero, but I will quickly recover and move on. But is this the same when it comes to friendship streaks?

Our brains our hard-wired to care what people think of us. There is an entire science emerging that is focusing on mapping connections in the brain with our experiences of friendship. And although, we may spend a lot of time ensuring our children are aware of their self-worth, and not dependent on relationships, we know that strong friendships are connected to positive mental development. Part of maintaining these friendships today is linked to our ability to connect quickly through technology, over distances, and our growing reliance on social media.  Platforms, like SnapChat, have taken this desire for friendships and the determined focus of maintaining a streak and incorporated it into their system.

The basics, as I understand them, is to maintain a SnapStreak, you and a friend must post a picture or video to each other every day. The content is not important. In fact, if you do a quick internet search you will see various platforms with ideas to maintain your streak or even quick pictures to post. These can be a black screen, something you are eating, or even a picture of your foot. There is even a Friend Solar System that provides a visual of how close your friendship is according to your streak activity. But what does this say about the friendships themselves? Are streaks being used to qualify a relationship, strengthen them or just there for some silly fun?

 

To be able to understand the impact, it would be important to discuss this with their target market, mainly the Gen Zs (12-27 year-olds) and with those not currently on the platform.

For example:

  1. Describe your best time with a friend?
  2. What have you discovered about a friend on a SnapChat post?
  3. How do you feel if your friend breaks your streak?
  4. Is it important to do your part and keep the streak alive?
  5. Are you or would you be proud to hold a streak?
  6. Are there benefits or disadvantages to people using SnapChat posts?
  7. What separates a BFF from a friend you have maintained a streak with?

This isn’t an article to negatively or positively evaluate SnapChat specifically. There are undoubtedly many platforms that use the same techniques and just as many articles that extort the fun and benefits versus the problems and concerns. To critically think however, we need to be open to discussions and not ignore the perceptions and experiences of any generation or person. It is to gather and harness information, open discussions and formulate our opinion. Encouraging authentic and positive friendships for children is the primary focus and one worthy of conversation.

 

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This month we combine two events to build STEM skills at home all the way increasing the love and family bonding time. Enjoy your time well spent and get the instructions to build your own bow and arrow and sling shot.  I wonder…was the bow and arrow the right tool for Cupid to spread the love?